The seminar was broken up into two main sections, formative instruction and corrective discipline with the main emphasis on formative instruction. Formative instruction is teaching that gives our children principles and absolutes to live by and teaches them how to evaluate and respond to life. Formative instruction is the foundation for corrective discipline. Initially, I was surprised that so little time was planned to talk about correction (basically one session at the end) but later I understood why. Jen and I are walking away from the seminar with this challenge: that we must take advantage of every opportunity to teach our children about God, his commands, the Gospel, and the application of Scripture to life. This is where we are to live. I believe that Jen and I focus so much on corrective discipline at the expense of formative instruction. I’m guessing there are other parents that have this common struggle as well. We will be looking to grow in increasing formative instruction in the coming days.
Dr. Tripp said many things during the seminar that are quotable and helpful. One of the statements was this, “Your home is the laboratory of life for your children.” Basically, that your children will learn all about life from all that goes on in your home. Dr. Tripp also passionately stated, “Your love and joy in God is the foundation for everything you say to your children” and “you can’t give away what you don’t have.” The first couple sessions were more about parents’ hearts than children’s hearts. Dr. Tripp used the Psalms to paint a picture of God’s glory and beauty that was captivating. At several points during the evening, I kept thinking, “Oh, I must see God’s beauty and live in light of it and pursue Him with greater fervor.” I’m so grateful that the Gospel empowers me to live in this way. My sins are forgiven through Jesus and now I get to live life in a close relationship with the creator of the universe, almighty God. How amazing! God is glorious and worthy of all of our (and our children’s) worship. I’m excited to refocus on showing my children how great God is.
Another helpful thing Dr. Tripp spoke was that training our children in the knowledge and understanding of God starts with the parent’s relationship with God. Is this relationship with God vital and obviously affecting you daily? Does God’s glory captivate you? Communicate this to your children each day. Let them in on what God is showing you each day in your time in Scripture and prayer. Use the common events and things of each day to explain God to them as Deuteronomy 6 commands us. There are opportunities all around to illustrate who God is and what he has done. Let’s pay careful attention and seek to draw our children’s attention to them daily.
- Steve
I agree! I was challenged to consider the difference between what Dr. Tripp called Behaviorism - which is the world’s way of controlling children’s behavior - and the Biblical model of parenting. What a difference it makes to address the heart first, but still provide consequences that will teach them God’s principle of sowing and reaping! I was so thankful for someone explaining this distinction so clearly, and giving me a vision for what my parenting should look like!